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The Week and Weekend Before My Surrender
May 20, 2024 11:04amView online

Last week was a whirlwind of preparation and emotion as I gathered everything needed for my surrender. I meticulously worked on all the legal documents, including the money and a money order for commissary, and compiled them into a neat manila envelope. This envelope held essential items such as my contact list, a yoga script.

I even mailed myself the AA Big Book and the “12 and 12.” By Friday, I had completed all these tasks, feeling a mix of relief and trepidation.

On Saturday, I shifted my focus to a joyful event: preparing for a bridal shower for one of my Serenity Sisters, which was taking place at my home on Sunday. By Sunday morning, I sent a text to the group of girls, realizing that this event kept me distracted and uplifted during this challenging weekend. The shower was set to begin at 11am, but over 10 women arrived an hour before to help set up. From tea sandwiches, blueberry mint tea, and homemade sweets, the energy was beautiful. We celebrated the bride to be with love and laughter, and by 2:30 PM, the girls had cleaned up and left, leaving my heart full.

At around 3 PM, my dad arrived to pick me up. I still had a few more things to do, like packing my come home bag with multiple changes of clothes, pajamas, toiletries, and other essentials. These items were loaded into my dad’s car to stay at his home until I return. Once at my dad’s house, I embarked on a mission to find a plain wedding band. As it was already 6 PM on a Sunday night, I tried two Walmarts without success. Then Steve suggested I try the mall. With less than an hour before closing, I rushed over to JCPenney and found the perfect ring on sale for about $50.

Afterward, I went to the grocery store for my dad, picked up some milk, and decided to make grilled cheese and tomato soup for the three of us. Warren suggested a crazy recipe from a YouTuber he watches, adding salt, pepper, garlic powder, cumin, and cinnamon to the grilled cheese. Though skeptical, it turned out fantastic.

The next morning, I got up early, ready for the day ahead. My dad and I took Warren to school and said our goodbyes with lots of big hugs. We stopped by Starbucks for a couple of coffees and then drove to Brenda’s house for the next leg of the journey. After saying my goodbyes to my dad and Trixie, I realized I had left my pack of legal documents in his car. Brenda and I rushed out to chase him down, but thankfully, my dad had already noticed and was on his way back. We managed to meet him, retrieve the documents, and breathe a sigh of relief.

As I write this, Brenda and I are approximately 20 minutes away from the gate at Victorville Satellite Camp. I’m nervous and anxious, trying not to let my thoughts spiral. I have prepared for this day as best as I can and plan to send out a blog post to be published every week. If you would like to follow my journey, please sign up at [www.gracedignityandcompassion.com](http://www.gracedignityandcompassion.com) to receive updates whenever a new post is published.

I want to thank everyone for their support, encouragement, guidance, and love. I will carry all of that with me and strive to make you all proud during this part of my journey.

With Grace, Dignity and Compassion,

Gina

First Week In – Recap

by Gina Pendergraph

Day 1 – Monday – Surrendered to the Satellite camp. They said I could not have my necklace and earrings. I advised I could and they needed to check. I was the winner on that but have found out that most women here also were told no wedding ring and no religious book. It’s kinda crazy that others accept that answer even though they know it’s not correct. 

Day 2 – Tuesday –  I brought in a money order and cash with me. Came to find out that will take a bit to get posted to my account. Even with knowing everything that I know it’s completely different here. So no emails until I could get the $$ posted. Had to ask my dad to send money via Western Union because commissary was today and I was able to get most of my essentials. Sweats/shower shoes/soap/toothbrush and toothpaste. 

Day 3 – Wednesday – Got my uniforms assigned today along with work boots. I won’t be doing much work but will drag these heavy ass boots around on my feet. We are required to be in full uniform between the hours of () if you are outside of the dorm. 

Day 4 – Thursday – Went to multiple departments trying to get information on classes I can sign up for or take. Very little information is available. Going to Pilates class on Saturday morning at 8:30.

Day 5 – Friday – Realized that there is absolutely no rehabilitation happening here. It’s food and naps. Watched Wonka. 

Now we will just sit around Saturday, Sunday and for the holiday on Monday. We don’t have to be in uniform, we can be in our grey sweats and sweatshirts.

 

Day 7- Sunday 7am. per Corr Links video call with AA sistas 

  • I had to purchase grey sweats that are Russell brand. 
  • Black boots are fake leather and 1 1/2 pound clunkers, super uncomfortable. 
  • coffee crystals in hot water like camping
  • one apple a day
  • really good big piece of banana cake
  • lots of crap like Reeses, Kit Kat, Snickers and chips 
  • oatmeal with peaches for breakfast is pretty good (there’s a peanut butter one too)
  • I have the bunk that my friend from Dublin slept in. 
  • I work one shift every morning for 19cents.
  • Boredom is the worst part. 
  • I have my book, but I can’t read for some reason. 
  • I’ve gotten to call my grandson. 
  • The bed is fine, I can’t complain, (cuz there’s noone to complain to!)
  • There’s no AA here, nobody talks about sobriety. I haven’t found my peeps. 
Mail me some books!
Self help! Inspirational! Autobiographies!
 

Paperback books are needed here!!! There is nothing on recovery (NOTHING), and could definitely use books on self help, inspirational, and any autobiographies. All sober stories welcomed!

 
From Emmet Fox to Lao Tzu, Wayne Dyer to Dalai Lama

Books can be sent from home and do not need to go through the publisher.

 

Please let H&I know that books are needed!

 

Let people that we know that have written books (Michael Santos, Justin Paperney, Brent Cassity and Lynn Espejo). Please ask them to send me their books!

 

Please send to: 

Gina Pendergraph 

REG # 33426-510 

FCI Victorville Medium II 

Federal Correctional Institution

PO BOX 5300

Adelanto, CA 92301

 

With Grace, Dignity and Compassion, 

 

PS. Please let Michael know that they are requesting his program here and if there is anything I can do from inside to help it along I will try.

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